So, it's not just Argentine women that gets South Carolina's governor going. Apparently he has fooled around with other women, though he didn't have sex. He sounds like another slick, adulterous Southern governor who couldn't define sex or the word "is". In fact, Southern governors inform this quick post a bit. Former President, Georgia Governor and Georgia's Peach(pit) Jimmy Carter once said he lusted in his heart. By the sound of the above link, Governor Sanford lusted in his fingers and probably his mouth, too.
~Ginger
Tuesday, June 30
MSNBC: Now Worse Than Ever
After telling Slim I had to blog today about MSNBC’s new show “Morning Meeting with Dylan Ratigan.” We came to understand the network revisions to be an extended metaphor for the political news world. The new MSNBC was bad and we couldn’t think it could drop below our expectations, but somehow managed to pull it off. It reminded us of the Obama administration, as kind irony given the networks penchant for swallowing the president’s staff 24 hours a day in real time. Second, the new lineup sucks harder than ever, like Keith Olbermann kneeling before a Manhattan gloryhole for his daily protein buffet luncheon. Now, the egos are more bloated and less qualified with this quality’s standard bearer, Luke Russert, storming the beaches of painful failure in order to escape the clutches of mediocrity.
That said, back to “Morning Meeting with Dylan Ratigan.” Apparently, a receding hairline of salt and pepper rats nest, buckteeth, no talent, a lack of understanding of basic economics and American politics, and skin that looks like a soon-to-be retired barber’s leather strip, can all be packaged into an expensive Italian suit and be put in front of a camera. In previous weeks, he explained that the government has never done anything to help economic competition—oh and he used to be a contributor to NBC’s financial network, CNBC.
Today, he defended Mark Sanford, saying there is no reason why this affair should force him to resign and that he’s tired of politicians being held accountable for personal matters that are no one’s business. Instead, he argues politicians should only be held accountable for policy. Contessa Brewer, shocked me today and made sense in response. Saying Sanford is a hypocrite and prides himself on morality and criticizes those who don’t live a good Christian life. More to the point, I would argue people in South Carolina CERTAINLY voted for him because of his moral and upstanding character, he has failed them on this point and clearly no longer represent what they voted for. Brewer went on saying that the state is still investigating whether his rendezvous romps were done at the taxpayer’s expense. More to the point, remember that one time he left the country (no matter the state) and didn’t bother telling anyone? What would have happened if the executive powers of the governor needed to be exercised rapidly and no one could get a hold of him unless there was a cell phone inside a pair of Latin American panties?
No, no Dylan, there’s no reason to impeach this man or demand his resignation. This asshole ended up dismissing Contessa Brewer in a really chauvinistic manner downplaying “hypocrisy” then using it in his next segment as if to say what “real” hypocrisy was. Dylan, just because you think banging a woman who isn’t your wife, risking a state constitutional crisis so you can fly south to get off, and stealing tax money for a booty call are all upstanding behavior for a man’s man doesn’t make it right. Further, defended an adulterer, thief, and wretched excuse for a public official doesn’t make you more of a man, nor does belittling a female contributor to the network, nor does a rugged look that resulted from years of chain smoking, vainly attempting to be a cigar aficionado, and knocking back bourbon with the boys. You’re a pathetic little man who’s entirely goal on TV is to prove he’s a man and has value, despite being unintelligent and without talent.
~Ginger
That said, back to “Morning Meeting with Dylan Ratigan.” Apparently, a receding hairline of salt and pepper rats nest, buckteeth, no talent, a lack of understanding of basic economics and American politics, and skin that looks like a soon-to-be retired barber’s leather strip, can all be packaged into an expensive Italian suit and be put in front of a camera. In previous weeks, he explained that the government has never done anything to help economic competition—oh and he used to be a contributor to NBC’s financial network, CNBC.
Today, he defended Mark Sanford, saying there is no reason why this affair should force him to resign and that he’s tired of politicians being held accountable for personal matters that are no one’s business. Instead, he argues politicians should only be held accountable for policy. Contessa Brewer, shocked me today and made sense in response. Saying Sanford is a hypocrite and prides himself on morality and criticizes those who don’t live a good Christian life. More to the point, I would argue people in South Carolina CERTAINLY voted for him because of his moral and upstanding character, he has failed them on this point and clearly no longer represent what they voted for. Brewer went on saying that the state is still investigating whether his rendezvous romps were done at the taxpayer’s expense. More to the point, remember that one time he left the country (no matter the state) and didn’t bother telling anyone? What would have happened if the executive powers of the governor needed to be exercised rapidly and no one could get a hold of him unless there was a cell phone inside a pair of Latin American panties?
No, no Dylan, there’s no reason to impeach this man or demand his resignation. This asshole ended up dismissing Contessa Brewer in a really chauvinistic manner downplaying “hypocrisy” then using it in his next segment as if to say what “real” hypocrisy was. Dylan, just because you think banging a woman who isn’t your wife, risking a state constitutional crisis so you can fly south to get off, and stealing tax money for a booty call are all upstanding behavior for a man’s man doesn’t make it right. Further, defended an adulterer, thief, and wretched excuse for a public official doesn’t make you more of a man, nor does belittling a female contributor to the network, nor does a rugged look that resulted from years of chain smoking, vainly attempting to be a cigar aficionado, and knocking back bourbon with the boys. You’re a pathetic little man who’s entirely goal on TV is to prove he’s a man and has value, despite being unintelligent and without talent.
~Ginger
Monday, June 29
How To Lose A Memory in 10 Days
For a few reasons, chief among them Michael Jackson's death, the political world has completely lost its memory. From politics to pop culture, no one remembers what happened 10 hours ago, 10 weeks ago or 10 years ago. Who better to remind people of what has slipped from? ME! I apologize in advance for this post, it's been a while and it's longer than you're used to---but enough with Michael Jackson's day care center pickup lines.
Michael Jackson's death made us forget that:
1) Farrah Faucet died.
2) a) Mark Sanford banged some woman in Argentina and charged the state of South Carolina for the trip. Oh, and he forgot to notify any legislative leader, constitutional officer, cabinet secretary, his own wife and children, and his staff that he was traveling out of the state and contact.
b) Mark Sanford's drama, theatrics and teary-eyed airport confessional press conference made us forget that he is a good Christian man steeped in the Bible's teachings who criticized President Clinton for having an affair, demanding his impeachment or resignation.
c) Mark Sanford's boner made him forget that he has a hot wife who built his political career. Oh, he also forgot he has four boys and that his wife is an heiress to an enormous tool fortune. It must have been her company's craft that drew her to one of the South's douchiest tools.
3) Michael Jackson's death also made network news forget the kind of life he led, the kinds of antics in which he engaged, and the type of tastes that pleased his palette.
4) While we're blaming Michael Jackson, newscasters also forgot that there is more than one judge on the 2nd district United States Court of Appeals, and how that body functions.
5) Saint Michael of Preschool Boy's Bathrooms also made our President forget that he ran a campaign in which he gave speeches and made promises.
a)He forgot that he criticized the Bush Administration's use and abuse of signing statements to enhance the power of the presidency.
b)Such an abuse of the presidency like politicizing government agencies and participating in politically-motivated and illegal firings...WHOOPSIE!
c)He also made promises about having an open dialogue and debate about health care as we move down the road toward full coverage for all Americans. I assume you are still reading this as you aren't busy running to the doctor's office because you still don't have insurance, and don't bother planning ahead you won't next year either.
Well, hopefully memories return, unfaded and with all the gaps filled in.
~Ginger
Michael Jackson's death made us forget that:
1) Farrah Faucet died.
2) a) Mark Sanford banged some woman in Argentina and charged the state of South Carolina for the trip. Oh, and he forgot to notify any legislative leader, constitutional officer, cabinet secretary, his own wife and children, and his staff that he was traveling out of the state and contact.
b) Mark Sanford's drama, theatrics and teary-eyed airport confessional press conference made us forget that he is a good Christian man steeped in the Bible's teachings who criticized President Clinton for having an affair, demanding his impeachment or resignation.
c) Mark Sanford's boner made him forget that he has a hot wife who built his political career. Oh, he also forgot he has four boys and that his wife is an heiress to an enormous tool fortune. It must have been her company's craft that drew her to one of the South's douchiest tools.
3) Michael Jackson's death also made network news forget the kind of life he led, the kinds of antics in which he engaged, and the type of tastes that pleased his palette.
4) While we're blaming Michael Jackson, newscasters also forgot that there is more than one judge on the 2nd district United States Court of Appeals, and how that body functions.
5) Saint Michael of Preschool Boy's Bathrooms also made our President forget that he ran a campaign in which he gave speeches and made promises.
a)He forgot that he criticized the Bush Administration's use and abuse of signing statements to enhance the power of the presidency.
b)Such an abuse of the presidency like politicizing government agencies and participating in politically-motivated and illegal firings...WHOOPSIE!
c)He also made promises about having an open dialogue and debate about health care as we move down the road toward full coverage for all Americans. I assume you are still reading this as you aren't busy running to the doctor's office because you still don't have insurance, and don't bother planning ahead you won't next year either.
Well, hopefully memories return, unfaded and with all the gaps filled in.
~Ginger
Wednesday, June 24
Tears of an Asshole
When the news of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's mysterious disappearance first broke, I assumed he was dead and hoped for the worst. When his wife said she had no idea where he was, I assumed she hated him as much as any semi-sane, non-Southern American and was glad to have a reprieve from that bony visage for a few days. When his staff came up with the lame Appalachian trail excuse, I was pretty convinced he was sodomozing a five-year-old boy in Thailand.
Well, it turns out I wasn't all that far off on all points. The Governor of Emo, as I've taken to calling him after that tearful clusterfuck of a press conference, suddenly finds himself in the charred shell of a dead political career. He's lucky his wife isn't the stabbing type - yet. And oh, that whole affair thing. The motivation behind Sanford's flight to his mistress is still fuzzy - was this a final, desperate rendezvous for a man who knew scandal was about to break? Or did a nefarious Romney spy catch him getting dirty on the Argentine coast?
Whatever the story, I loathe you, Mark Sanford, because you have set me up for this socially undesirable schadenfreude. It is pure bliss to see you cry on television...I just wish you were actually sorry for something other than yourself , or for all of the other terrible things you've done. The list of specifics is long, but in general, you tried to fuck your state economy through a lame attempt to reject federal stimulus funds for leverage in 2012, and you have consistently an unabashedly raised the spectre of murderous abortionists and dangerous minorities to subdue real policy discussion and political opposition while in office.
Emo Governor Mark Sanford looked like a lost puppy in the Atlanta airport today, and his swift downfall is the latest example of the fatal flaw in the GOP as we currently know it. When Christianity and morality become a hollow political crutches, it's so, so easy to abandon the principles with which you browbeat your political enemies and distract your less intelligent supporters. Cater to idiots enough, and you run the risk of thinking on their level. Republicans are out-stupiding Democrats, which might be one of the seven signs of the apocalypse.
Going from quarterbacks to band nerds in the span of a second Bush term has been rough on the leading men in the GOP. As they felt their influence and prestige quickly waning, Ensign, Sanford, and likely some still unidentified Republicans dealt with the bad news like any goodly white Christian male: they started sticking their dicks in EVERYTHING. It's a classic coping mechanism, and until politicians realize that ONLY Bill Clinton could get away with it, we're going to see a lot more tears on TV.
Ginger pointed out to me that the GOP is going to scandalize its way to a 2012 Haley Barbour nomination. He may be on to something...and only because Barbour is too fat and old to have sex.
~Slim
***********************************************
UPDATE
***********************************************
Haley Barbour becomes chairman of Republican Governors Association. Yet remains too fat and old to cheat on his wife, unless a manatee finds its way to the statehouse in Jackson.
~Ginger
Well, it turns out I wasn't all that far off on all points. The Governor of Emo, as I've taken to calling him after that tearful clusterfuck of a press conference, suddenly finds himself in the charred shell of a dead political career. He's lucky his wife isn't the stabbing type - yet. And oh, that whole affair thing. The motivation behind Sanford's flight to his mistress is still fuzzy - was this a final, desperate rendezvous for a man who knew scandal was about to break? Or did a nefarious Romney spy catch him getting dirty on the Argentine coast?
Whatever the story, I loathe you, Mark Sanford, because you have set me up for this socially undesirable schadenfreude. It is pure bliss to see you cry on television...I just wish you were actually sorry for something other than yourself , or for all of the other terrible things you've done. The list of specifics is long, but in general, you tried to fuck your state economy through a lame attempt to reject federal stimulus funds for leverage in 2012, and you have consistently an unabashedly raised the spectre of murderous abortionists and dangerous minorities to subdue real policy discussion and political opposition while in office.
Emo Governor Mark Sanford looked like a lost puppy in the Atlanta airport today, and his swift downfall is the latest example of the fatal flaw in the GOP as we currently know it. When Christianity and morality become a hollow political crutches, it's so, so easy to abandon the principles with which you browbeat your political enemies and distract your less intelligent supporters. Cater to idiots enough, and you run the risk of thinking on their level. Republicans are out-stupiding Democrats, which might be one of the seven signs of the apocalypse.
Going from quarterbacks to band nerds in the span of a second Bush term has been rough on the leading men in the GOP. As they felt their influence and prestige quickly waning, Ensign, Sanford, and likely some still unidentified Republicans dealt with the bad news like any goodly white Christian male: they started sticking their dicks in EVERYTHING. It's a classic coping mechanism, and until politicians realize that ONLY Bill Clinton could get away with it, we're going to see a lot more tears on TV.
Ginger pointed out to me that the GOP is going to scandalize its way to a 2012 Haley Barbour nomination. He may be on to something...and only because Barbour is too fat and old to have sex.
~Slim
***********************************************
UPDATE
***********************************************
Haley Barbour becomes chairman of Republican Governors Association. Yet remains too fat and old to cheat on his wife, unless a manatee finds its way to the statehouse in Jackson.
~Ginger
Monday, June 15
Iran Over The Dog
Iranians went to the polls this past weekend to cast ballots in their quadrennial presidential election. The incumbent Ahmadinejad and the challenger Mousavi were in a tight contest for the lead. Expectations were that the two would likely both miss the 50% cut off and enter a runoff election to be held later. Some polls even had the challenger defeating the sitting Iranian president by as much as 15 percentage points.
Instead, Ahmadinejad won by 29% points sparking rioting and protests in Iran decrying electoral fraud and corruption. The Supreme religious ruler in Iran, Ayatollah Khamenei even asked a council to investigate the election results.
There is a right way and a wrong way to go about rigging an election (just ask the Daleys, Bushes, Kennedys, etc.) and there is a wrong way. The right way leads to some disappointment and some raised eyebrows, but perhaps little more. For example, in the 1960 Presidential election, the race between Kennedy and Nixon was tight. In Chicago, boxes and boxes of ballots began coming in favoring Kennedy that the city's political machine magically produced. However, the margin of victory wasn't huge, but Kennedy still "won" Illinois.
To draw an analogy, the Kennedy victory in Illinois was like "accidentally" backing over the dog in the driveway. Sure, you never liked the dog and used to say you wish you never got it, but accidents happen and it is hard to see something so small in the side mirror. The Iranian election is the equivalent to tying the dog up, backing over it three times, calling the family out to the front yard and throwing a live grenade at it, then walking over to your children and saying, "daddy is sorry, it all happened so fast there was nothing I could do, scruffy got loose."
Anyways, in future news, Iran has a coup.
Instead, Ahmadinejad won by 29% points sparking rioting and protests in Iran decrying electoral fraud and corruption. The Supreme religious ruler in Iran, Ayatollah Khamenei even asked a council to investigate the election results.
There is a right way and a wrong way to go about rigging an election (just ask the Daleys, Bushes, Kennedys, etc.) and there is a wrong way. The right way leads to some disappointment and some raised eyebrows, but perhaps little more. For example, in the 1960 Presidential election, the race between Kennedy and Nixon was tight. In Chicago, boxes and boxes of ballots began coming in favoring Kennedy that the city's political machine magically produced. However, the margin of victory wasn't huge, but Kennedy still "won" Illinois.
To draw an analogy, the Kennedy victory in Illinois was like "accidentally" backing over the dog in the driveway. Sure, you never liked the dog and used to say you wish you never got it, but accidents happen and it is hard to see something so small in the side mirror. The Iranian election is the equivalent to tying the dog up, backing over it three times, calling the family out to the front yard and throwing a live grenade at it, then walking over to your children and saying, "daddy is sorry, it all happened so fast there was nothing I could do, scruffy got loose."
Anyways, in future news, Iran has a coup.
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