This week, the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) held its annual summit. This meeting is a unique social experience. It combines people who spew society-wide hatred, blind support for their leaders (though this is not unique to conservatives), and an existence in an alternative universe.
In that universe, the Republican Party holds a majority in Congress and the Presidency, God has returned to Earth to amend the Constitution to outlaw abortion and record keeping of gun ownership. Everyone is white and Protestant and their infidelities with other women and children are acceptable. In this Republican fantasyland, only 3% of the population can afford health insurance, which is no worry because major illness was eliminated with gays and minorities. Most importantly, in this world conservatives MATTER!
This convention was a clearinghouse for old, white men to discuss political ideas that were relevant 30 years ago. Sad, pathetic have-beens were riled to action by an unlicensed plumber, an overweight pill addict, and an indicted former exterminator. This menagerie of misguidance drew as much public interest as a New Radicals Reunion Tour--the only difference is that the Reunion Tour would attract members of the 18-25 year old demographic.
Despite all this, I'm looking forward to next year's convention where I hear they will debate whether the world is flat and hold a roundtable on the best way to transform quartz into gold. If interested, admission will be $17,500 and is only open to heterosexual males with the correct ridges in their skulls.
-Ginger
Saturday, February 28
Friday, February 27
Hope, Change, Iraq
Phew….I’m glad the war is over. I’m also glad that bitch Hillary Clinton didn’t get elected President or we would have had a ton of troops in Iraq for a long, long time. And thankfully, this new policy is strongly endorsed by Congressional Leaders like Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi and with friendly members of the media like Rachel Maddow…Oh wait...
In all seriousness though, the President’s plan is seeing some ringing endorsements like that of John McCain. That’s right McCain voters, you thought losing the campaign was going to mean a terrible policy on the war, luckily for you that didn’t pan out. Also, for the families of the 50,000 troops who will have to stay in Iraq, rest assured that your sons and daughters get a new label "non-combat troops." YAY! Everyone wins....
-Ginger
In all seriousness though, the President’s plan is seeing some ringing endorsements like that of John McCain. That’s right McCain voters, you thought losing the campaign was going to mean a terrible policy on the war, luckily for you that didn’t pan out. Also, for the families of the 50,000 troops who will have to stay in Iraq, rest assured that your sons and daughters get a new label "non-combat troops." YAY! Everyone wins....
-Ginger
Thursday, February 26
Byrdened by Power
United States Senator Robert Byrd criticized the Obama administration this week for a supposed policy power grab. Byrd, who was denied service in the Civil War because of his advanced age, argued that Obama’s move to institute policy czars amounted to the transfer of power from Congress to the Executive. (My guess is that Byrd is against czars based on personal experience, as his own life began during the Russian Revolution [literally].)
Byrd’s irritation with the President is really an argument over institutional power. The President wants to streamline the process (as most presidents euphemistically do). In addition, Obama has likely considered the melting pot of horrors that is the membership of the United States Senate and would rather trust the creation of important policy to his yet unfinished cabinet rather than to the yet unfinished Senate.
Why you may ask?
Here is a run down of some of the Senate’s superstar committee chairman and some of their finest accomplishments:
Robert Byrd (formerly chairman of Appropriations): He lost his chairmanship because the Majority Leader wanted it filled by someone younger, and chose the spry and chipper, 85 year old Daniel Inouye (HI). Byrd’s highlights include KKK membership and bilking the American taxpayer so a shithole like West Virginia can have an infrastructure that rivals the Jetsons.
Joseph Lieberman (CT-Homeland Security): Droopy Dog with an Iraq War cheerleader’s uniform on, Lieberman labeled Obama a socialist, while changing the battery out on John McCain’s campaign trail Power Scooter.
Carl Levin (MI-Armed Services): A true leader and huge supporter of his home town auto industry. If policy from the Senate will be anywhere near as successful as the productive capacity of General Motors, start hoarding your canned goods and oil lamps now.
Tom Harkin (IA-Agriculture): Tom has ensured that multi-billion dollar corn conglomerates owned by General Mills and Kellogg Corp. get billions of dollars in farm subsidies every year, just to ensure that they can cut it in the struggling agro-grain sector of the American economy. Remember: agriculture conglomerates need all of our help to get by, but if you’re a queer don’t you dare think of getting married…Work on a farm for six months it’ll put some hair on your perfectly waxed chest.
Mary Landrieu (LA-Small Business): The GOP’s second favorite Democrat. Landrieu is like an ugly girl at a frat party. She’s typically wearing clothes from 10 or 15 years ago and if you wave a little money in front of her or if Mitch McConnell whispers “I Love You” into her ear, she will do anything for you…ANYTHING. Her vote-casting sluttiness would make a Mardi Gras prostitute in the early stages of meth withdrawal blush.
-Ginger
Byrd’s irritation with the President is really an argument over institutional power. The President wants to streamline the process (as most presidents euphemistically do). In addition, Obama has likely considered the melting pot of horrors that is the membership of the United States Senate and would rather trust the creation of important policy to his yet unfinished cabinet rather than to the yet unfinished Senate.
Why you may ask?
Here is a run down of some of the Senate’s superstar committee chairman and some of their finest accomplishments:
Robert Byrd (formerly chairman of Appropriations): He lost his chairmanship because the Majority Leader wanted it filled by someone younger, and chose the spry and chipper, 85 year old Daniel Inouye (HI). Byrd’s highlights include KKK membership and bilking the American taxpayer so a shithole like West Virginia can have an infrastructure that rivals the Jetsons.
Joseph Lieberman (CT-Homeland Security): Droopy Dog with an Iraq War cheerleader’s uniform on, Lieberman labeled Obama a socialist, while changing the battery out on John McCain’s campaign trail Power Scooter.
Carl Levin (MI-Armed Services): A true leader and huge supporter of his home town auto industry. If policy from the Senate will be anywhere near as successful as the productive capacity of General Motors, start hoarding your canned goods and oil lamps now.
Tom Harkin (IA-Agriculture): Tom has ensured that multi-billion dollar corn conglomerates owned by General Mills and Kellogg Corp. get billions of dollars in farm subsidies every year, just to ensure that they can cut it in the struggling agro-grain sector of the American economy. Remember: agriculture conglomerates need all of our help to get by, but if you’re a queer don’t you dare think of getting married…Work on a farm for six months it’ll put some hair on your perfectly waxed chest.
Mary Landrieu (LA-Small Business): The GOP’s second favorite Democrat. Landrieu is like an ugly girl at a frat party. She’s typically wearing clothes from 10 or 15 years ago and if you wave a little money in front of her or if Mitch McConnell whispers “I Love You” into her ear, she will do anything for you…ANYTHING. Her vote-casting sluttiness would make a Mardi Gras prostitute in the early stages of meth withdrawal blush.
-Ginger
Wednesday, February 25
Rachel and Nancy: The "Who's More Liberal?" Faceoff
Last night, I was not impressed by Miz Speaker's cheerleading clapping, creepy fresh Botox job, or outfit (though it was nice of her to recycle an old uniform of Chairman Mao's that got stained when subjected to a warm wash cycle with a yellow towel).
But tonight, I was impressed with her interview with Rachel Maddow. Rachel employed her usual interview tactic: "I love you because you're liberal, but I'm uber-liberal, so here are my tough and sassy questions." Unfortunately for Rach, it wasn't the Laverne & Shirley "we're gonna make it after all" lovefest she had probably wanted.
Nancy - who thanks to Botox has an identical number of wrinkles as her much younger interviewer - wasn't having any of Rachel's blend of idol worship and progressive sass. She made it crystal clear that she wants to crucify Bush administration officials for abuse of prisoners WAY MORE than Rach does, that she has been fighting for universal health care before Rach even knew she loved vagina, and that any recent House Republican media grandstanding cannot compensate for the institutional obscurity she has imposed upon them.
Nancy's a big tease for Obama - trying to crawl up his ass during the address to Congress one night only to allude that his rumored Iraq plan is unacceptable the next. I loathe and begrudgingly admire it at the same time. Though she's often ineffective in practice and many times outmaneuvered by dastardly Republicans, she scores points for consistently sticking with the big left ideas - holding Bushies accountable, REALLY ending the war, and generally making America a little less shitty for the lowest common denominator in our society.
Of course, her faults are easier to forgive with Harry Reid as Majority Leader, but more on that later.
~Slim
But tonight, I was impressed with her interview with Rachel Maddow. Rachel employed her usual interview tactic: "I love you because you're liberal, but I'm uber-liberal, so here are my tough and sassy questions." Unfortunately for Rach, it wasn't the Laverne & Shirley "we're gonna make it after all" lovefest she had probably wanted.
Nancy - who thanks to Botox has an identical number of wrinkles as her much younger interviewer - wasn't having any of Rachel's blend of idol worship and progressive sass. She made it crystal clear that she wants to crucify Bush administration officials for abuse of prisoners WAY MORE than Rach does, that she has been fighting for universal health care before Rach even knew she loved vagina, and that any recent House Republican media grandstanding cannot compensate for the institutional obscurity she has imposed upon them.
Nancy's a big tease for Obama - trying to crawl up his ass during the address to Congress one night only to allude that his rumored Iraq plan is unacceptable the next. I loathe and begrudgingly admire it at the same time. Though she's often ineffective in practice and many times outmaneuvered by dastardly Republicans, she scores points for consistently sticking with the big left ideas - holding Bushies accountable, REALLY ending the war, and generally making America a little less shitty for the lowest common denominator in our society.
Of course, her faults are easier to forgive with Harry Reid as Majority Leader, but more on that later.
~Slim
Catholic Indoctrination: The Gift that Keeps on Giving
Nothing starts off Lent like some good old fashioned self-reflection. For the Protestants, et al, Lent is a 40-day Catholic season that runs from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday and represents the guiltiest time of the year. As if the Church weren’t trying during other Holy seasons or even during Ordinary Time, you’re supposed to abstain from all the fun things in life: sex, liquefied merriment, etc.
Beyond this part, and as is true of most of the faith, there are also a ton more regulations. Chief among them, you need to give up an indulgence for the Lenten season. For example, I can’t give up domestic violence, driving a BMW, or running the Commerce Department because I don’t normally do those things (though if I wait long enough, I think I may get a shot at Commerce after enough withdrawals). So, I would have to give up Subway, Fiber One Bars, or Starbucks (the things that keep me going).
Additionally, (insert black and white photo of nun savagely beating heretics with a yardstick before a chalkboard and portrait of current President Warren Harding) Catholics cannot eat meat on Ash Wednesday nor on any Friday during Lent. What I bring you this mini-Catechism lesson for is to explicate the power of the Catholic Church.
I haven’t been to Church for anything other than a funeral since the last Pope died, and before that it was Good Friday a half a decade ago. Despite being a lax Catholic and sinning all the way to the bank, whenever Lent comes around, I have a hard time not following these rules. I often wonder why. True, I am a fan of pomp and circumstance, but if that were the case my ass would be in a pew every day of the week, Lent or not. I’m also not one of the lax Catholics who tries to show his colors when the time is right like grabbing a candle for Midnight Mass at Christmas or displaying the ultimate “I’m Catholic and you’re not” advertisement—the ashen forehead on this holiday.
Instead, I say it’s left over, authoritarian indoctrination that once a year rears its head and ensures that I feel guilty enough about enough of things that I put down the burger and pick up pasta on those few days before Easter. (I should add, I feel that my hatred of fish makes Lent a period of martyrdom for me every year, as well.) So, I raise a glass (so long as it is not wine, beer, or beef bouillon and toast the most effective top-down, rule-bound organization in the history of the World. Sure, Benedict, I’m not going to Church much anymore, but damn it darn it, you must be doing something right.
-Ginger
Beyond this part, and as is true of most of the faith, there are also a ton more regulations. Chief among them, you need to give up an indulgence for the Lenten season. For example, I can’t give up domestic violence, driving a BMW, or running the Commerce Department because I don’t normally do those things (though if I wait long enough, I think I may get a shot at Commerce after enough withdrawals). So, I would have to give up Subway, Fiber One Bars, or Starbucks (the things that keep me going).
Additionally, (insert black and white photo of nun savagely beating heretics with a yardstick before a chalkboard and portrait of current President Warren Harding) Catholics cannot eat meat on Ash Wednesday nor on any Friday during Lent. What I bring you this mini-Catechism lesson for is to explicate the power of the Catholic Church.
I haven’t been to Church for anything other than a funeral since the last Pope died, and before that it was Good Friday a half a decade ago. Despite being a lax Catholic and sinning all the way to the bank, whenever Lent comes around, I have a hard time not following these rules. I often wonder why. True, I am a fan of pomp and circumstance, but if that were the case my ass would be in a pew every day of the week, Lent or not. I’m also not one of the lax Catholics who tries to show his colors when the time is right like grabbing a candle for Midnight Mass at Christmas or displaying the ultimate “I’m Catholic and you’re not” advertisement—the ashen forehead on this holiday.
Instead, I say it’s left over, authoritarian indoctrination that once a year rears its head and ensures that I feel guilty enough about enough of things that I put down the burger and pick up pasta on those few days before Easter. (I should add, I feel that my hatred of fish makes Lent a period of martyrdom for me every year, as well.) So, I raise a glass (so long as it is not wine, beer, or beef bouillon and toast the most effective top-down, rule-bound organization in the history of the World. Sure, Benedict, I’m not going to Church much anymore, but damn it darn it, you must be doing something right.
-Ginger
Tuesday, February 24
Bobby Jindal, Voice from the Grave
While news commentators spoke of the certain irony in the Governor of Louisiana invoking the evils of government spending, of corruption, and the massive failures during Katrina to rouse people to the Republican cause, I need to address a few more pressing and ridiculous issues that came to light during the Response from the Plantation House.
If you could look beyond the cotton crop, over the slave quarters, around the "Colored" restrooms, and past the ol' hangin' tree, you would see the Louisiana exeuctive mansion. I expected to find inside the aforementioned Governor Bobby Jindal (R-SelfPromotion). Instead, I found something else quite remarkable. Apparently, Mr. Rogers' corpse rose up and raped a ventriloquists' doll to produce a love child with a voice that combined condescension, creepiness, and cartoonesque cadence.
As if you could possibly take seriously a man who sounded like the narrator from a Hans Christian Andersen story filling in for the 1930s newsreel voiceover who came down with the consumption, he had something of "substance" to say. He spoke from the heart about what all Louisianans believe was the great "scourge." A functioning judicial system? Nope. Prohibition? Nope. Oil Revenue Taxes? Nope. Slavery? Yes. Wait... Yessirrey, he labeled slavery a scourge, immediately making his reelection bid more competitive.
Unfortunately, all of the state's life-sized cardboard cutouts of the Gipper washed away when Katrina tried to punish the gays in New Orleans. So, Governor Jindal had to rely on a more veiled reference to Reagan, invoking the "Soviet menace." Seriously? Soviets were the only threat you could think of? Is this 1961? I guess when you're complaining about taxes being too high and government spending being out of control, the most reasoned approach is to reference the Cold War, a time when budgets were balanced and government programs were logical, efficient, productive and never wasteful. Oh wait....
Apparently, you need no training in history (high school or college) to qualify for a Rhodes Scholarship, a seat in the U.S. Congress, and the occupancy of Louisiana's governor's mansion. But then again, history books are still useful. Something has to kindle the fire under the (not so) ol' hangin' tree....
-Ginger
If you could look beyond the cotton crop, over the slave quarters, around the "Colored" restrooms, and past the ol' hangin' tree, you would see the Louisiana exeuctive mansion. I expected to find inside the aforementioned Governor Bobby Jindal (R-SelfPromotion). Instead, I found something else quite remarkable. Apparently, Mr. Rogers' corpse rose up and raped a ventriloquists' doll to produce a love child with a voice that combined condescension, creepiness, and cartoonesque cadence.
As if you could possibly take seriously a man who sounded like the narrator from a Hans Christian Andersen story filling in for the 1930s newsreel voiceover who came down with the consumption, he had something of "substance" to say. He spoke from the heart about what all Louisianans believe was the great "scourge." A functioning judicial system? Nope. Prohibition? Nope. Oil Revenue Taxes? Nope. Slavery? Yes. Wait... Yessirrey, he labeled slavery a scourge, immediately making his reelection bid more competitive.
Unfortunately, all of the state's life-sized cardboard cutouts of the Gipper washed away when Katrina tried to punish the gays in New Orleans. So, Governor Jindal had to rely on a more veiled reference to Reagan, invoking the "Soviet menace." Seriously? Soviets were the only threat you could think of? Is this 1961? I guess when you're complaining about taxes being too high and government spending being out of control, the most reasoned approach is to reference the Cold War, a time when budgets were balanced and government programs were logical, efficient, productive and never wasteful. Oh wait....
Apparently, you need no training in history (high school or college) to qualify for a Rhodes Scholarship, a seat in the U.S. Congress, and the occupancy of Louisiana's governor's mansion. But then again, history books are still useful. Something has to kindle the fire under the (not so) ol' hangin' tree....
-Ginger
Obama to Address Congress
Though not an official State of the Union Address, President Barack Obama will offer a "Budget Address" to a joint session of Congress this evening (9PM EST). These addresses tend be a bit belabored, but you should expect some good quotes. President Obama's speechwriter, Jon Favreau, is quite talented, and this is the biggest speech of his career, thus far. I'm sure he'll make it a doozy. Below is a list of 5 points of interest to watch for.
1) How many members of the United States Supreme Court attend? Does Ruth Bader Ginsburg attend having just returned to the Court after cancer surgery? Does Jim Bunning throw a breaking ball at her head in a weak attempt to fulfill yesterday's prophecy?
2) Does Ted Kennedy return to Washington, DC, for the speech, given his recent health troubles? Does Bunning try to take him out as well for posterity?
3) Watch House Republicans sneer at Obama's recommendations for budget increases for specific programs. If your hometown Republican Member of Congress or Senator seems a bit portlier than normal, resist sending them the South Beach Diet cookbook. Their jackets are simply lined with stimulus money, and objects in denial are smaller than they appear. On a related note, place wagers with your friends as to who will win the spray tan-off: House Minority Leader, John Boehner, or Minority Whip, Eric Cantor.
4) Notice how often the new President pronounces words like "nuclear" properly, then quickly straighten all the pictures on your walls, as a nation's sigh of relief registers on the Richter scale.
5) For the first time in history, we will see an African-American, a woman, and two Catholics all on the podium during an address to Congress. Watch to see if Vice President Joe Biden does something ridiculous like throw a bottle of Jameson at the Joint Chiefs and take part of the stimulus money to "make it rain" for Nancy Pelosi.
Anyways, enjoy the speech; I'm sure we'll have much to say tomorrow.
-Ginger
1) How many members of the United States Supreme Court attend? Does Ruth Bader Ginsburg attend having just returned to the Court after cancer surgery? Does Jim Bunning throw a breaking ball at her head in a weak attempt to fulfill yesterday's prophecy?
2) Does Ted Kennedy return to Washington, DC, for the speech, given his recent health troubles? Does Bunning try to take him out as well for posterity?
3) Watch House Republicans sneer at Obama's recommendations for budget increases for specific programs. If your hometown Republican Member of Congress or Senator seems a bit portlier than normal, resist sending them the South Beach Diet cookbook. Their jackets are simply lined with stimulus money, and objects in denial are smaller than they appear. On a related note, place wagers with your friends as to who will win the spray tan-off: House Minority Leader, John Boehner, or Minority Whip, Eric Cantor.
4) Notice how often the new President pronounces words like "nuclear" properly, then quickly straighten all the pictures on your walls, as a nation's sigh of relief registers on the Richter scale.
5) For the first time in history, we will see an African-American, a woman, and two Catholics all on the podium during an address to Congress. Watch to see if Vice President Joe Biden does something ridiculous like throw a bottle of Jameson at the Joint Chiefs and take part of the stimulus money to "make it rain" for Nancy Pelosi.
Anyways, enjoy the speech; I'm sure we'll have much to say tomorrow.
-Ginger
Monday, February 23
Rep. James Clyburn vs. White Southern GOP Establishment: Round 5729835
Oh, The South.
South Carolina Rep. James Clyburn is super pissed that Southern GOP governors are threatening to refuse federal stimulus money. He's backtracked from his original assertion that the move is "a slap in the face of African-Americans," but only by about a fourth of an inch.
Sassy academic Joseph A. Palermo incisively compares the prattle of certain Southern GOP governors to a neo-Confederate uprising. The would-be secessionists:
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal - Indian-American GOP superstar with ambition overload
Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour - fattest governor in the nation, by far
South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford - a literal lover of the original Confederacy
Texas Gov. Rick Perry - gets a stiffy every time a mentally retarded minority death row inmate is executed
But to be fair to the above state executives, I don't think they're consciously trying to make life more difficult for minorities in their home states, just the one who recently became President. And who's helping them along with that? Oh, it's Jim Clyburn.
Remember that one time he successfully inserted language in the stimulus bill that endowed state legislatures with the power to override their governors' refusal of federal stimulus funds? No state lawmaker would turn down even a single road project for his or her district. Sounds to me like Jindal & Co. can posture all they want, knowing in the end, they can cry separation of powers and the voters will get the funds.
Poor Rep. Clyburn. He should have spent less time simmering with hatred and paranoia and more time pondering the obvious fact that the would-be secessionists - an ambitious and practical lot - could have never raised this stink without his help.
~Slim
South Carolina Rep. James Clyburn is super pissed that Southern GOP governors are threatening to refuse federal stimulus money. He's backtracked from his original assertion that the move is "a slap in the face of African-Americans," but only by about a fourth of an inch.
Sassy academic Joseph A. Palermo incisively compares the prattle of certain Southern GOP governors to a neo-Confederate uprising. The would-be secessionists:
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal - Indian-American GOP superstar with ambition overload
Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour - fattest governor in the nation, by far
South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford - a literal lover of the original Confederacy
Texas Gov. Rick Perry - gets a stiffy every time a mentally retarded minority death row inmate is executed
But to be fair to the above state executives, I don't think they're consciously trying to make life more difficult for minorities in their home states, just the one who recently became President. And who's helping them along with that? Oh, it's Jim Clyburn.
Remember that one time he successfully inserted language in the stimulus bill that endowed state legislatures with the power to override their governors' refusal of federal stimulus funds? No state lawmaker would turn down even a single road project for his or her district. Sounds to me like Jindal & Co. can posture all they want, knowing in the end, they can cry separation of powers and the voters will get the funds.
Poor Rep. Clyburn. He should have spent less time simmering with hatred and paranoia and more time pondering the obvious fact that the would-be secessionists - an ambitious and practical lot - could have never raised this stink without his help.
~Slim
Deficit Doublespeak (Not Having Any of It Edition)
As someone who is very uncomfortable with change, it comforts me greatly to know that our new administration is doing its best to calm my nerves. After the election, I was kept up at night at the thought that lobbyists would be driven from government positions and that the decision making over the war would be well thought out and the consequences fully considered. Thankfully, none of that has happened yet. And now to quell my fears even more, the new administration is continuing the fun and games of rhetorical truthspeak and the silliness of word games.
Today, the President announced his bold and brave plan to cut the deficit in half. To try to satisfy lowly Republicans and shed what he perceives as the slime of a liberal lavel, he is screaming from the highest rooftop of a corporation headquarters, non-unionized factory, or Cayman Island bank, “See I can be like you, too! Just accept me.” Of course, his plan is a weak attempt to gain political points with word games.
Really Obama? You’re going to cut the deficit in the coming years from where it is now? How talented our President is to assure us that in future years we will not face the passage of hundreds of billions of dollars in stimulus packages and bailout bills.
Our deficit is higher than normal this year because of these emergency expenses. To embrace the President’s bold deficit-cutting agenda is a farce. He won’t be cutting it to pre-Bush levels. He’ll be returning it to pre-recession levels. This is bold policy--returning our deficit levels to pre-recession levels once the recession is over? Maybe when he does it, he can give a speech on the steps of the Treasury Department in front of a big “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” banner.
I applaud this President’s rhetorical balls. Sure, it has won over media stains like Norah O’Donnell whose idea of an effective stimulus is the battery operated device she keeps under the news desk for stories about this administration. I, on the other hand, see right through this nonsense, and I AM NOT HAVING ANY OF IT.
-Ginger
Today, the President announced his bold and brave plan to cut the deficit in half. To try to satisfy lowly Republicans and shed what he perceives as the slime of a liberal lavel, he is screaming from the highest rooftop of a corporation headquarters, non-unionized factory, or Cayman Island bank, “See I can be like you, too! Just accept me.” Of course, his plan is a weak attempt to gain political points with word games.
Really Obama? You’re going to cut the deficit in the coming years from where it is now? How talented our President is to assure us that in future years we will not face the passage of hundreds of billions of dollars in stimulus packages and bailout bills.
Our deficit is higher than normal this year because of these emergency expenses. To embrace the President’s bold deficit-cutting agenda is a farce. He won’t be cutting it to pre-Bush levels. He’ll be returning it to pre-recession levels. This is bold policy--returning our deficit levels to pre-recession levels once the recession is over? Maybe when he does it, he can give a speech on the steps of the Treasury Department in front of a big “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” banner.
I applaud this President’s rhetorical balls. Sure, it has won over media stains like Norah O’Donnell whose idea of an effective stimulus is the battery operated device she keeps under the news desk for stories about this administration. I, on the other hand, see right through this nonsense, and I AM NOT HAVING ANY OF IT.
-Ginger
Whoopsie of the Week
Senator Jim Bunning of Kentucky. Baseball Hall of Fame pitcher. Two-term senator. Serious dipshit and asshole.
Bunning told some local Republicans over the weekend that he suports conservative judges "and that's going to be in place very shortly because Ruth Bader Ginsburg...has cancer." Um, sir, did you just tell a room full of people that you were eagerly anticipating the death of a Supreme Court Justice for your own ideological gain? "Bad cancer," he continued, apparently an unsung medical expert, well-versed in Ginsburg's files. "The kind that you don't get better from."
WHOA. I guess Bunning failed to read that little news story about how Ginsburg's prognosis is excellent. Here is an AP refresher.
Normally, a Republican in Kentucky could say things like that and get away with it, but Bunning has already been singled out by his OWN PARTY as a pariah that needs to go away, with good reason.
You see, Bunning is the type of loser that narrowly wins his 2004 reelection (51-49%, or 23,000 votes) over a little-known Democrat challenger in an overwhelmingly conservative state. He followed up that stellar performance with an obvious aparthy toward his duties that resulted in his being named the "Most Clueless Senator" by Hill aides. He has the same lazy attitude towards campaign fundraising; though he claims he needs $10 million for the 2010 race, he only has a few hundred thousand on hand and lacks the capacity (or zeal) to catch up. Oh, and that little-known Dem challenger has moved up in the world. Lieutenant Governor Daniel Mongiardo has already announced his intention to run.
Party compatriots have privately been pushing him to retire, but Bunning has the kind of five-year-old mentality that gives him license to become more stubbornly foolish with increased appeals to reason. So, we have a situation where his own Kentucky GOP twin Mitch McConnell and NRSC Chair Cornyn are hilariously and publicly dismissing his declaration of candidacy, instead professing "ignorance" over his intentions.
Wake up, dick. Retire and save your party the embarrassment of losing a Republican seat in Kentucky, of all godforsaken places.
- Slim
Bunning told some local Republicans over the weekend that he suports conservative judges "and that's going to be in place very shortly because Ruth Bader Ginsburg...has cancer." Um, sir, did you just tell a room full of people that you were eagerly anticipating the death of a Supreme Court Justice for your own ideological gain? "Bad cancer," he continued, apparently an unsung medical expert, well-versed in Ginsburg's files. "The kind that you don't get better from."
WHOA. I guess Bunning failed to read that little news story about how Ginsburg's prognosis is excellent. Here is an AP refresher.
Normally, a Republican in Kentucky could say things like that and get away with it, but Bunning has already been singled out by his OWN PARTY as a pariah that needs to go away, with good reason.
You see, Bunning is the type of loser that narrowly wins his 2004 reelection (51-49%, or 23,000 votes) over a little-known Democrat challenger in an overwhelmingly conservative state. He followed up that stellar performance with an obvious aparthy toward his duties that resulted in his being named the "Most Clueless Senator" by Hill aides. He has the same lazy attitude towards campaign fundraising; though he claims he needs $10 million for the 2010 race, he only has a few hundred thousand on hand and lacks the capacity (or zeal) to catch up. Oh, and that little-known Dem challenger has moved up in the world. Lieutenant Governor Daniel Mongiardo has already announced his intention to run.
Party compatriots have privately been pushing him to retire, but Bunning has the kind of five-year-old mentality that gives him license to become more stubbornly foolish with increased appeals to reason. So, we have a situation where his own Kentucky GOP twin Mitch McConnell and NRSC Chair Cornyn are hilariously and publicly dismissing his declaration of candidacy, instead professing "ignorance" over his intentions.
Wake up, dick. Retire and save your party the embarrassment of losing a Republican seat in Kentucky, of all godforsaken places.
- Slim
Sunday, February 22
Rhodes to Perdition
The stimulus bill offers us a wonderful look at how ridiculous is the state of Louisiana. Current governor and Republican Presidential hopeful, Bobby Jindal, is claiming he won't take federal stimulus money to help stabilize the economy of his state. Despite the fact that the bill has been passed by both houses of Congress and signed by the President, and that federal tax revenue flowing out of his state will help pay for this package, he wants to refuse it.
So, here are two important questions that come out of this fool-fest in the bayou.
First, will the Republican party's favorite poster child for equality and tolerance turn down a package that help his constituents? Will his misguided principles trump the needs and well-being of some of the poorest, hardest-hit Americans? Of course his alternative is to take the money silently while railing against it (a la Reagan-era tax hikes). So, if he picks the former he's a scumbag, if he takes the latter he is two-faced (and still kind of a scumbag).
Second, if he does bend his constituents over a levee and fill them with the swampy magic of continued economic hardship what is their response? Do they boot his ass out of office after one term Kathleen Blanco-style. Or like all upstanding, poor, conservative Republicans do they put their kids to bed hungry, genuflect before a portrait of Ronald Reagan, and blame Democrats, lesbians, and terrorists for all the tragedy in the world?
-Ginger
So, here are two important questions that come out of this fool-fest in the bayou.
First, will the Republican party's favorite poster child for equality and tolerance turn down a package that help his constituents? Will his misguided principles trump the needs and well-being of some of the poorest, hardest-hit Americans? Of course his alternative is to take the money silently while railing against it (a la Reagan-era tax hikes). So, if he picks the former he's a scumbag, if he takes the latter he is two-faced (and still kind of a scumbag).
Second, if he does bend his constituents over a levee and fill them with the swampy magic of continued economic hardship what is their response? Do they boot his ass out of office after one term Kathleen Blanco-style. Or like all upstanding, poor, conservative Republicans do they put their kids to bed hungry, genuflect before a portrait of Ronald Reagan, and blame Democrats, lesbians, and terrorists for all the tragedy in the world?
-Ginger
Saturday, February 21
The Sassing Begins...
Hey junkies, welcome to Sassmouth Politics!
Have you noticed recently 95% of the population of avid politicos have completely lost sense of reality? We have, and we're NOT HAVING ANY OF IT. For over a year, we've been emailing and texting political freakouts and irreverent commentary back and forth to one another. One day, we crossed a certain ego boundary that made it seem right to publish our sass on the web.
Ginger and Slim are simultaneously the most fervent of progressives and the dullest of moderates. Our policy views, politics, and values are far left of center. Yet we're not impressed with the empty threats, instant historical revisionism and double think, or idol worship of the usual lefty blogs. If we wanted clouded judgment, we'd clearly journey to the right.
We're not just going to pretend to hold politicians accountable, then rebound with a convenient excuse when we're let down. This blog will spread the sass around, unapologetically. We will also (hopefully) offer humorous discourse regarding all things asinine in the political world. When we're wrong, we'll admit it, even though we'll really hate it. When you disagree, we'll listen.
The obsession with and idolization of political leaders that often spews from the mouths of the politically (un)informed will be scarce here, as you probably already gathered. That nonsense in ready supply elsewhere.
It's fun being a sassmouth, as long as your grandmother isn't around to crack you for it. Enjoy it with us.
-Ginger and Slim
Have you noticed recently 95% of the population of avid politicos have completely lost sense of reality? We have, and we're NOT HAVING ANY OF IT. For over a year, we've been emailing and texting political freakouts and irreverent commentary back and forth to one another. One day, we crossed a certain ego boundary that made it seem right to publish our sass on the web.
Ginger and Slim are simultaneously the most fervent of progressives and the dullest of moderates. Our policy views, politics, and values are far left of center. Yet we're not impressed with the empty threats, instant historical revisionism and double think, or idol worship of the usual lefty blogs. If we wanted clouded judgment, we'd clearly journey to the right.
We're not just going to pretend to hold politicians accountable, then rebound with a convenient excuse when we're let down. This blog will spread the sass around, unapologetically. We will also (hopefully) offer humorous discourse regarding all things asinine in the political world. When we're wrong, we'll admit it, even though we'll really hate it. When you disagree, we'll listen.
The obsession with and idolization of political leaders that often spews from the mouths of the politically (un)informed will be scarce here, as you probably already gathered. That nonsense in ready supply elsewhere.
It's fun being a sassmouth, as long as your grandmother isn't around to crack you for it. Enjoy it with us.
-Ginger and Slim
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