The (a)Lone Star State

Governor Rick Perry (R-TX) is so American that his anti-Americanism is patriotic. Yes, Texas wants to secede from the union, or at least the Texas governor does. I say: adios! Or at least thats what they will be saying when the Mexican army starts gobbling up land and the Texas State Police, Texas Rangers, and perhaps the San Antonio Spurs are unable to beat back the force.

What will secession accomplish? Well, first and most importantly, I will probably laugh harder than ever. Second, we'll get a filibuster proof majority in the Senate as 59/98 is the 3/5 needed. We would get rid of a bunch of Republican Congressmen and a bunch of DINOs. The University of Texas football team would longer be a BCS competitor. The next time Democrats in the state legislature want to abandon the state capitol and run to Oklahoma for refuge, they better have their Texas-issued passports updated (this is contingent on the State Department opening up diplomatic relations with the newly independent country, which I doubt). The International Criminal Court can send a contingent into Texas to arrest George W. Bush for war crimes and not worry about the American military turning them away.

If only this could happen. Unfortunately, Rick Perry's grasp of the broader implications of the secession of his state is only outmatched by his comprehension of the English language writ large. He will grandstand for a while, spit nails about the evil communist in the White House, probably slip up and call him some slur and blame the liberal overly-PC crowd for his own tongue twisting. But at the end of the day, he will remain the governor of Texas, his state will remain part of the US, and every six weeks he will visit Rod Blagojevich's hair stylist, and we will still be burdened by the tomfoolery of another barely literate Texas governor.