Henry Waxman, chairman of the powerful House Committee on Energy and Commerce, was hospitalized today because he "felt unwell," according to his spokesperson. Who feels "unwell" in 2009? Did they load him into a conestoga wagon and cart him to the nearest apothecary for some smelling salts and ether?
Slim likes to compare such happenings to Former Secretary of Homeland Security and Federal Judge Michael Mukasey's "old-timey whoopsie" and "case of the vapors" before an audience of lawyers last year.
Anyways, maybe Waxman is being hospitalized for exhaustion (or a touch of the vertigo?) after ramming the Climate Bill through the House with as much finesse as a serial rapist in a convent. Or maybe it was an assassination attempt. Likeliest suspects:
1) Any Democratic House Member who isn't a barnicle on the underside of Nancy Pelosi.
2) Any Republican who loves smog, hummers, and corporations and hates taxes, trees, and hippies---so, any Republican.
3) People who hate people who have noses that belong on a farm.
4) John Dingell, the longest serving member of the House of Represenatives. He began his House tenure during Eisenhower's first term(literally!) and was next in line for the chairmanship of Energy and Commerce. However, he refused to feed from the trough of Pelosi sycohphants and got booted. While I'm not saying the move was unjust, given that Dingell's Detroit ties make his chairmanship of the Energy committee troublesome, I think he's a suspect. However, being born in 1926 means he's prone to the vapors and feeling unwell, too. But in his closet, behind his musket, there might be an old sarsaparilla bottle filled with some poison that hasn't been seen in use in 600 years, and it happened to find its way into Waxman's morning coffee.
~Ginger
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