Do the Charleston

What the hell is with South Carolina? Some states have political scandals involving corruption: Connecticut, Rhode Island, Kentucky. Some places have scandals over drugs and alcohol: South Dakota, Washington, DC. Some states have scandals over ______ (insert whatever can be used to describe Illinois).

Then there's the Palmetto State. A Bible belt state committed to such honorable acts as hating gays, women and blacks; raising the confederate flag above the American flag; and serving as the birthplace of the War of Northern Aggression. Apparently, the reward for brightening the bulb that makes the United States the beacon for the world seems to be a unique statewide water supply. Some states use flouride to treat their public water. Some use chlorine. South Carolina seems to use a combination of Viagra, white wine, and a liquefied version of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On."

Let's run down the list Confederate Coital Controversies:
1) Segregationist, Racist, Bible Beater Strom Thurmond had a penchant for knocking up the "staff" (read: post emancipation house slaves).
2) Governor Mark Sanford's emo-laden tango between some silk sheets in Buenos Aires. Despite the hot wife at home, Sanford took a hike in Appalachia which was temporarily located inside an Argentine journalist. Then, after getting caught with his hand in the anatomical cookie jar, Sanford failed to get the "don't cry for me" memo from Mrs. Peron.
3) (Though not funny, but just ironic given that it's happening to people who often stand against equality) Allegations of the eeeeevil, scary, sinful homosexual lifestyle have been launched against Senator Lindsey Graham and Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer. It should be added, as alumni of University of South Carolina, both Graham and Bauer have are always rooting for Gamecocks.
4) Whistles aren't the only thing being blown in the Governors race this year. In the race to succeed Mark Sanford and have the opportunity to disinfect every inch of the executive mansion, Republican candidate Nikki Haley has been beating off......allegations of sex scandals for the past two weeks. First a Sanford staffer, now a lobbyist, if she can only hunt down and lift her skirt for a political consultant she can nail the tawdry trifecta of prurient politics.

~Ginger