Obama to Address Congress

Though not an official State of the Union Address, President Barack Obama will offer a "Budget Address" to a joint session of Congress this evening (9PM EST). These addresses tend be a bit belabored, but you should expect some good quotes. President Obama's speechwriter, Jon Favreau, is quite talented, and this is the biggest speech of his career, thus far. I'm sure he'll make it a doozy. Below is a list of 5 points of interest to watch for.

1) How many members of the United States Supreme Court attend? Does Ruth Bader Ginsburg attend having just returned to the Court after cancer surgery? Does Jim Bunning throw a breaking ball at her head in a weak attempt to fulfill yesterday's prophecy?

2) Does Ted Kennedy return to Washington, DC, for the speech, given his recent health troubles? Does Bunning try to take him out as well for posterity?

3) Watch House Republicans sneer at Obama's recommendations for budget increases for specific programs. If your hometown Republican Member of Congress or Senator seems a bit portlier than normal, resist sending them the South Beach Diet cookbook. Their jackets are simply lined with stimulus money, and objects in denial are smaller than they appear. On a related note, place wagers with your friends as to who will win the spray tan-off: House Minority Leader, John Boehner, or Minority Whip, Eric Cantor.

4) Notice how often the new President pronounces words like "nuclear" properly, then quickly straighten all the pictures on your walls, as a nation's sigh of relief registers on the Richter scale.

5) For the first time in history, we will see an African-American, a woman, and two Catholics all on the podium during an address to Congress. Watch to see if Vice President Joe Biden does something ridiculous like throw a bottle of Jameson at the Joint Chiefs and take part of the stimulus money to "make it rain" for Nancy Pelosi.

Anyways, enjoy the speech; I'm sure we'll have much to say tomorrow.

-Ginger