The Nobel Prize: Useless in an Era of CHANGE

Early in the 2008 primary season, Ginger and I were at a debate-watching party when an idiot with zero political knowledge referred to our precious Hildog as "naive." We took it poorly, at best. So I felt for you, Krugman lovers and legitimate progressive thinkers, when I read this today. If you find it audacious that the very people who fucked up on AIG and many other bailout elements would call a qualified scholar "naive," you should probably remember that these people are so obsessed with their great leader, they probably regard his daily shit as some sort of economic oracle.

To be fair, Obama's apostles are new to any left-leaning criticism of the Exhalted One, and they're all totally emo, so it makes sense that they are crying in the corner before lashing out at the man they envision as Judas. I sort of feel badly for them, because this is the start of what I think is a tide of very public criticism from very prominent liberals.

Evan Thomas himself admitted that his establishment tendencies make him want to dismiss Krugman's gloomy foreboding, but that he has a nagging feeling the little man might be onto something. I suspect John McCain may have had a nagging feeling that Cindy looked a little groggy, but then ignored it, and suddenly meds were missing from a certain chairty organization. Whoops. Was it not ignorance of our inner nag that got us into this econapocalypse in the first place?

But back to the shit oracles. I mean, a reliance on sorcery and mystique must have been the reason administration officials convinced Obama to get all stern father on GM and Chrysler without preparing Gibbsy to defend against a patently obvious double standard, right? If they would have done their homework - say, the kind of rigorous research that lands one a Nobel Prize - one would think they would have drawn the conclusion that the public would be incredulous over a perceived blunt-force assault on the "American worker" versus a mere slap on the wrist for those dastardly Wall Street monsters. It seems that Krugman is more and more correct with each passing day.

~Slim

In case the economy isn't making you suicidal...

...the latest media news will. First up, Howard Dean will become a regular CNBC contributor. Remember that one time in 2004 when Dean was the white 2004 Obama, beloved by the liberal masses and praised for his opposition to the Iraq war? Oh yeah, then he started screaming, and didn't have any "inspirational" background to propel him forward or a "bitch" candidate like Hil with which to contrast himself.

Then Dean turned his amazing web networking prowess into a new base of Democratic support, revitalized the DNC, and catapulted Obama to the White House with his sound 50-state strategy. You would think Obama would be greatful, but he let Rahm be a fucking spiteful dick and ushered in precious boytoy Tim Kaine. Dean has been gracious through his unceremonial kicking to the curb by Obama and Emanuel, but I doubt his populist perspective will make CNBC any less annoying, and he clearly deserves better than NBC's ugliest and least intelligent child.

Those of you who were looking forward to the Chris Matthews Pennsylvania Senate candidacy disaster will be doubly disappointed that not only will he refrain in 2010, he will be with MSNBC for another painful four years. Four more years of awkward misogyny, belligerent love-hate for Obama, and aggressive, nonsensical and blatantly leading questions. I mean, even Chuck Todd is marginally more tolerable, and Todd is the worst reporter/analyst EVER. Matthews' delusion about his own impartiality and analytical skills is gut-wrenching, but I guess that trainwreck brings enough viewers to the time slot, so brace yourselves. ~ Slim

Obama, Memphis, Vomit

Rather than fixing the economy, dealing with the war, investigating the laws broken by the Bush administration, or legitimately dealing with all the screw ups his and his last administration propogated regarding AIG, et al, the President found time today to announce his picks for the NCAA Tournament. His final four includes: UNC (ok, we agree on something), Pitt (I disagree though I'm probably on the wrong side of this one), Louisville (not impressed), and Memphis (insert repeated projectile vomit noise here). Really Memphis? Not UConn from that region or Mizzou?

Memphis is in a shit conference so they're totally untested, have a really weak record in big time games against real opponents, and are totally and completely overrated given their weak and paltry ability (an ability that managed to win a C-USA tournament and go 1 for 3 against ranked opponents this season). Rather than basing judgment of Memphis on skill, records or fact, the media has made Memphis their love child creating a world in which everything they do, no matter how miniscule, meaningless, or easy it is, is considered the most dramatic of accomplishments. Sound familiar?

Wow, the Memphis basketball team is the athletic equivalent of the Obama campaign/administration. Now if only coach Calipari can act outraged at some kind of broad-scale corporate theft scheme that he had the opportunity to stop but absolutely and totally failed to do anything about, he would secure the role of his team as a perfect political metaphor. Maybe one of the players can throw a ball from half court ostensibly toward the basket, but miss and hit an 89 year old retiree in the head, killing her. Later, the player can deny ever have been in the arena, despite 26,000 witnesses and 11 networks covering the play.

The only thing that makes me seethe more than Memphis basketball is this President....

-Ginger

Happy St. Patrick's Day

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY FROM SASSMOUTH POLITICS!!

Remember the key to a good day is green beer, corned beef & cabbage, and hating gays.

So, have a mold-colored beer, eat some brine soaked meat, and know that gays will burn in hell for their sins, unless they do it the Catholic way and take Holy Orders and dittle the little.

Ya, I said it!

-Ginger

The Good, the Bad and the Federal Courts

The New York Times is reporting today a few bits of information on President Obama’s plan to staff the Federal Judiciary. The President is moving closer to naming, David Hamilton, to be his first nomination for a Federal Appeals Court judge (for the 7th Circuit). I’m not sure where this judge actually stands. Although the Times peeled their lips away from the President’s phallus long enough describe him as a "moderate," they went back suckling by detailing every liberal move Hamilton ever made. A criticism of the President must be combined with stark praise as well. So, in the spirit of that I will do the same.

A President can really screw up when staffing the judiciary. Clinton let a combination of making nominations a low priority and a bitchy and unfriendly Senate Judiciary Committee restrict the number and quality of nominations. Jimmy Carter demanded two qualifications to be appointed to the bench during his tenure: are you a minority or part of an underrepresented group AND are you going to be a terrible addition to the Federal Courts? If you answered yes to both, then you got the job.

Sadly, Republicans are really, really good at appointing judges (except Supreme Court Justices, they kind of suck at that, see Anthony Kennedy, David Souter, Sandra Day O’Connor, Harry Blackmun, John Paul Stevens). Hopefully, Obama’s appointment of a “moderate” judge is either phony (and he is a progressive) or not the start of a trend (as MSNBC is reporting). About 2 out of every 3 judges on the federal bench are Republican appointees. We don’t need Master of The Universe and Exalted Ruler of Post-Partisanship Obama to be appointing a bench full of moderates. The longest standing mark of a presidency are his court appointments. I’d rather you appoint a bunch of potheads from Berkeley or a group of hacky-sack enthusiasts from Austin rather than conservatives in "moderate" clothing.

And to channel NYT’s criticism and praise pairing, I will applaud Mr. Obama for bringing back the Bar Association’s ratings of Federal Court nominees to the nomination process. After emo-Bush’s feeling’s were hurt by the group they were banned from the process, and it’s nice to see them being brought back into the fold.

-Ginger

AIG bonus clusterfuck: why are we surprised/enraged?

Whah.

I'm so over everyone whining about AIG's abuse of bailout funds. I fail to comprehend why the Obama administration is so shocked and outraged by the insurance giant's latest stupid move, the operative word in this sentence being LATEST. Remember that one time the firm almost collapsed and we had to dump money into its coffers lest we usher in one of the twelve signs of the EconApocalypse? Remember that other time they blew through the initial bailout in .4 seconds and needed additional funds? Oh, and remember that one other time that AIG lost over $60 billion in the fourth quarter last year, which over $59 billion more than the total combined net worth of everyone you or I have probably ever known?

Obama came out of his bubble today looking like the fourth wife who's shocked that her husband wants to divorce her for yet another younger and hotter assistant. Did it never occur to ANYONE at Treasury to maybe ask AIG execs if they had any future "retention awards" planned when they got the latest dose of TARP funds? Did Obama's finance gurus really believe that the same people who slowly raped our economy over a period of years would instantly and compeltely learn their lessons?

The big losers here: Obama and every other melodramatic politician who is gnashing teeth and tearing out hair while having counsel look into "legal avenues" to rescind the bonuses. If they're still "looking into it," it means it can't happen. Your less intelligent American will fail to understand why the government invests in companies but then have no say in their behavior, and get pretty pissed. Your intelligent American has already realized that their political representives are too entrenched in the thinking that led to this entire mess in the first instance; they realize that this bonus mess is the government's fault, and are also getting pissed.

One would assume that it's probably time for Obama & Co. to reevaluate. When they are all done crying, anyways. ~Slim

Updates Soon

Sorry readers, for a multi-day lull in posting. We promise a post in the next 24 hours.

-Ginger

The Douche from Wisconsin's First, Isn't Wisconsin's First

Wisconsin wunderCongressman Paul Ryan (WI-01) was on Morning Joe today to discuss his plan to save America. He calls it “A Roadmap for America’s Future.” This plan offers a great lesson in American politics and policymaking and why sometimes no new ideas is better than stupid ones. For the past 7 weeks, since Barack Obama became President, the Republicans have earned the media nickname, “the party of NO!” They have rejected most of the President's large proposals, while offering nothing in response.

To counter this moniker, Congressman Ryan ran through another bottle of cheap hair gel and an aerosol canister of Aquanet and defibrillated his proposal from last May on how to save America. In it, of course, he offers the typical Republican policymaking meme of fellating Ronald Reagan’s corpse with a consistent chant for failed economic policy. One would think that given the changes in America’s economic situation, Congressman Ryan would adjust his proposal. NOPE! Such silly thoughts. These adjustments would occur in a rational political environment, but not in the vacuous abyss that is the GOP.

The best part of the proposal involves retirement plans. He regurgitated Bush’s plan of private retirement accounts, by allowing individuals to take 1/3 of their social security tax withholding to put into a private savings account that would allow their money to enjoy all of the benefits of the stock market. This proposal was introduced in May of 2008. On May 1, 2008, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed at 13,010.00. This afternoon, the stock index closed at a booming 6,926.49—a loss of 47%. Ryan’s proposal would have the government ensure that you would at least make as much money as you would have, had you kept all of your money in Social Security. So, under the Ryan plan, the government would not receive a portion of individuals' Social Security taxes, but during a period of economic recession, the government would have to pay out an excess of money it did not receive in revenue.

That is grade A fiscal responsibility. Lower taxes so the government gets less money, but demand it pays out the same amount as before. I guess in the end, Paul Ryan is honoring the Gipper quite well: total fiscal irresponsibility with a total lack of sensibility. Sadly, Ryan can’t blame a deteriorating brain. And even if he could, he’s against research that might help revive his facilities. In the end, Wisconsin has another politician to put in the Political Hall of Fame. His bust can be placed right next to Joseph McCarthy's.

-Ginger

Oooh, a scrap for the lefty dogs

His Majesty lifted that idiotic Bush ban on federally funded embryonic stem cell research. Another yummy campaign promise fulfilled, albeit it at a politically advantageous time and clearly designed to distract the Kos bunch from any foot-dragging on health care, ending the war in Iraq...I'm sorry, I just saw a stem cell growing into a liver, it was so shiny...

Ladies of the Crazy Left, I know you've already scheduled an appointment with Planned Parenthood and are eying every progressive, sensitive indie scenester within sight (but note, those skintight jeans are probably reducing sperm count). You want to have a personal role in the curing of awful diseases like Alzheimer's and multiple sclerosis, and this is way easier than ceasing your disaffected preening in the mirror long enough to go to medical school.

Sassmouthiness aside, it sure feels good to hear a president talk about restoring "scientific integrity to government decision-making" and "protecting free and open inquiry." But something seems too easy...oh yeah, President Obama won't lobby Congress to repeal the Dickey-Wicker amendment. Apparently, following your professed confidence in science to its logical conclusion by providing federal dollars to extract stem cells from embryos in the first place is too difficult.

Candidate Obama presented the most even-keeled and rational defense of the pro-choice position of any Democratic candidate for ANYTHING that I have ever heard. It would be great if he could follow that up with a truly sensible pro-choice policy. We'll see what the administration does with this.

P.S. the President explicity condemned human cloning, so Obamaphiles, you're stuck with just one of him for the time being. Whah whah.

~Slim

'Rush'-ing Into A Mess

Over the past couple of weeks, President Barack Obama's surrogates have been duking it out with radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh. Limbaugh, an overweight, conservative, pill addict with a microphone has been the voice of conservatism for quite some time. The President, through his handlers, has tried to label Rush the leader of the Republican Party as a way to discredit further a party in shambles. Rush has responded with vitriol and an offer to the President to appear on the radio show to debate the bloated windbag.

I agree that Rush Limbaugh is an absolute idiot in many ways, but you know what, like Ann Coulter, he is a brilliant man playing a market and earning tons and tons of money. The President should be above this fool's level and settle on performing such acts as being the leader of the free world, the leader of his party, and the voice of reason in policymaking. Instead, day after day he engages this meaningless dolt in the parlor games of politics. When will this President grow up? Cut the shit; fix the mess we're in; do your job! I voted for you, not to play tag with conservative radio hosts but to do a better job in creating policy and running this country than the last guy or your opponent. This nonsense is a let down.

All of this was capped off this week by a stupid email from the Democratic National Committee. Like most emails it was truly intended to raise money, but on the surface, it offered me the opportunity to submit a 10-word bit that could be put on billboards in Florida to call out Rush Limbaugh. Really? Is that what the party its spending money on? Is Rush that important and that much of a threat to Democats that you need to waste money on this? Rush was hired and syndicated to criticize Democrats, liberals and poorly behaving Republicans so as to gain a huge audience, sell ads, make money for himself, and most importantly the media conglomerate that pays him. He is doing the job he was hired to do, and damn well I may add. I wish the President would do the job he was hired to do, as well as Rush is filling his employment requirements. If he did, this country would probably be in a better place.

-Ginger

TN-Gov: Health Care Privileges

Yesterday in an MSNBC interview Tennessee Republican gubenatorial candidate, current US House member (TN-03), and everyone's favorite college dropout and coke fiend, Zach Wamp described what it is like to live in a bubble of conservatism. He explained that access to health care is a privilege in the United States. When pressed by a reporter about a hypothetical patient suffering from cancer, Wamp further explained that health care is a right for some people, but a privilege for most.

Wamp, a current recipient of government-provided (read: socialist, Marxist, communist, Soviet, traitor) health care as a Member of Congress, apparently has his own little red list of qualities and qualifications for who gets rights in this country and who does not. My guess is that in addition to his list of qualities for the right to health care he has similar lists for those who should be given the right of habeas corpus, freedom of speech and the like.

Apparently, if you are a former drunk and coke addict, but White, Southern Baptist and a Member of Congress getting your health care from the government is ok. However, if you're an unskilled worker earning minimum wage and have a sinus infection that is induced by something other than inhaling mile after of mile of Colombia's finest, you better not expect the government to subsidize your doctor's visit and prescription antibiotic...Commie.

-Ginger

Edwards Biproduct

Huffington Post is reporting that the banged up broad who John Edwards carried on a gag-worthy affair with celebrated her love-child's first birthday recently. Included is a photograph from the event. The child clearly looks like Edwards in the picture. Unfortunately, however, this cropped version of the photo hides some of the more important paternity-identifying features. For example, in the complete photograph you can see the baby emptying her diaper on a woman with cancer, while lacing up her little Nike Air-AmbulanceChasers.

The added income of the child has really helped Edwards' sperm bank, Rielle Hunter, continue to support a lifestyle that includes purchasing Bimbo-tastic Brand blonde hair dye six weeks after her roots start showing and sense of class that could only be exceeded by a Northern New Jersey prostiture passed out in a gutter with a cyringe dangling from between her toes. Meanwhile, Edwards lives the high life on his massive Everyman estate in (Michael) Jacksonian hiding with his balls conveniently being held in a vice owned by Elizabeth Edwards.

-Ginger

Heckuvan Idea, Brownie

It was reported on NPR today that British Prime Minister, Gordon "Best-We-Can-Do" Brown, came up with a stellar idea to solve the world financial crisis. He describes a "Global New Deal" that will transform the worldwide financial system and protect against future economic problems. He proposed an international regulatory body that would monitor the actions of individual nations' financial systems in order to ensure that we don't encounter further greed, corruption, and misdeeds and that, as a result, the system is stabilized and protected.

Really, Gordon Brown? Is it really your idea to group all nations and put them under the control of a single, international regulatory body? Is it really in America's and everyone else's interest to do this? It must be a good idea to join an international economic community, like, for example, all of the nations of the European Union dropping their parochial monetary unit and adopting the Euro. It worked out really well for Britain when they adopted the Euro....Oh wait, that's right, that never happened. Britain didn't adopt the Euro because they didn't want to suffer the economic declines associated with the problems of other countries and they didn't want to give up their own soveriegnty. Apparently, however, the US should join this group because it's going to convenience dumbass Gordon. Meanwhile, he can prance around Britain and act like it's everyone else's fault, especially that of the United States, that Britain's financial sector is in the loo as well. Nice try Gordon, just wait on another one of your not-regularly-scheduled elections to be called and have your ass thrown out on the street like the common drunk that you are.

**UPDATE** World's least important economic actor, IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn (also known as the Student Council Treasurer of the undeveloped world), backs the idea of a world financial institution solving this mess. Nice try to you, too, douche, we're not enhancing your institutional power, but we'll still cast 40% of the votes on "issues" that come before you.

-Ginger

It's that time of year...

...when Republican state legislators get down to the business of being as intolerant as possible.

Tennessee has no income tax. To paraphrase some Tennesseans I've heard discuss the subject: "Poor people don't pay no income taxes anyways, so why should we punish people who work hard?" Well, the actual consequence of no income tax is that the state is heavily dependent on sales tax revenue, so now that the economy blows, Tennessee is facing a $1 billion FY2009 budget shortfall. Stupid poor people.

You would think state lawmakers would be solely focused on resolving the impending financial doom. Instead, they are trying to prevent "unmarried couples" - i.e. those wily, contagious gays - from adopting neglected children desperately in need of loving homes. I guess sometimes you have to take the moral high ground, even if that means that the pool of available adoptive parents will shrink considerably, leaving more children in foster care...WHICH WILL FURTHER DRAIN STATE RESOURCES.

State Republicans are also working on such pressing issues as allowing permit holders to carry guns into state parks, constitutionally restricting abortion rights, and making life more difficult for Hispanic immigrants, illegal or not. I understand that this is the red meat their constituents yearn to feast upon, but even the most hardcore religious conservative will be furious if this nonsense results in his kids attending underfunded schools and his garbage festering on the tree lawn due to cut services.

~Slim

Louis Farrakhan, King of Hip

If President Obama's election represents the beginning of a post-racial America, I guess Calypso Louis didn't get that memo.

The Nation of Islam is still out there, ladies and gentleman, and it held its annual convention in Chicago this week. Apparently, rap stars lurrv him and Snoop Dogg donated $1,000 to the NOI...seriously dude, a grand? Did you blow your event budget on those sunglasses?

Flippancy aside, Slim is getting somewhere. Remember that one time Farrakhan praised Obama in an interview and his campaign took all of .02 seconds to make it crystal clear that they did not seek such an endorsement? Ouch, I mean, Jeremiah Wright and Farrakhan are certainly both senior VPs over at Foot In Mouth Corp., why the much hastier diss?

I suppose the black separatist undertones in the NOI...and that pesky faux Muslim thing...and all of those anti-Semitic and homophobic statemnts...well, Farrakhan has been considered toxic by black politicians trying to establish credibility in traditional power circles for a long time. But other African-American leaders with the aforementioned problems - sans the Muslim affiliation - have the benefit of Obama's benevolent approval.

Hmmm. If the President is serious about healing racial and religious divisions in America, maybe he could start with the NOI, which is smack in the epicenter of racial and religious intolerance. Farrakhan may be a total ass much of the time, but he is still taken seriously by many African-Americans because his efforts to better life for them are undeniable. Reaching out to African-Americans still unconvinced of the new rosy future would be a great way for Obama match action to rhetoric.

~Slim