Anyone who has been on a college campus knows the pomp and tradition associated with greek life. Fraternities and sororities have secret handshakes and chants, often live in exclusive housing, wear their letters across their chest, and most importantly, vow to support, protect and honor their brothers and sisters.
Among the thousands of greek organizations in the United States rests the smallest, most exclusive, most powerful fraternity in the world. Historically, this fraternity has only admitted 43 members, and is steeped in a more than 220 year tradition. What fraternity is this? That of American presidents. Coming from all walks of life, as long as you're rich and politically connected, this group of individuals now with a booming five living members is unique. Despite individuals coming from different parts of the country and having drastically different political views, the one thing that connects them all is an august respect and protection for each other.
Thus, it should come as no suprise today that our hypocrite-in-chief, after running against the evil Bush administration's trail of lies, corruption, evil, and constitution shredding, agreed to save face for the former president. That's right, all of the waterboarding (read: presidentially approved torture) conducted by the CIA under the Bush Administration will NOT be prosecuted by the Obama Justice Department. Individuals' liberty, safety, and dignity were violated, all while America's sense of morality and decency were subjugated. And what, may you ask is the punishment? NOTHING!!! Yes, score one for Barack Obama's sense of national pride, his protection of the rule of law, and the equal treatment of individuals therein. Some people are above the law, apparently. Frankly, it's that this nation's first black president should offer separate rules of law for individuals. So, Bush administration officials and the former President himself are allowed to sit in the front of the constitutional bus, everyone else better move their asses to the back and fall in line.
Oh, and if you stupid Obamabots are going to act like this is part of the long list of the "one questionable thing Obama has done among a host of great (hopefully, forthcoming) things," he also doesn't want prisoners to have habeas corpus rights...mmm...smell that old car scent.
So, I regret the vote I cast to push this fool into the elite fraternity of criminal protection, rights stripping, and unchecked political and legal power. Also, if I don't post for a while, chalk it up to the lack of Internet access in Guantanamo Bay.
-Ginger
Thursday, April 16
Wednesday, April 15
The (a)Lone Star State
Governor Rick Perry (R-TX) is so American that his anti-Americanism is patriotic. Yes, Texas wants to secede from the union, or at least the Texas governor does. I say: adios! Or at least thats what they will be saying when the Mexican army starts gobbling up land and the Texas State Police, Texas Rangers, and perhaps the San Antonio Spurs are unable to beat back the force.
What will secession accomplish? Well, first and most importantly, I will probably laugh harder than ever. Second, we'll get a filibuster proof majority in the Senate as 59/98 is the 3/5 needed. We would get rid of a bunch of Republican Congressmen and a bunch of DINOs. The University of Texas football team would longer be a BCS competitor. The next time Democrats in the state legislature want to abandon the state capitol and run to Oklahoma for refuge, they better have their Texas-issued passports updated (this is contingent on the State Department opening up diplomatic relations with the newly independent country, which I doubt). The International Criminal Court can send a contingent into Texas to arrest George W. Bush for war crimes and not worry about the American military turning them away.
If only this could happen. Unfortunately, Rick Perry's grasp of the broader implications of the secession of his state is only outmatched by his comprehension of the English language writ large. He will grandstand for a while, spit nails about the evil communist in the White House, probably slip up and call him some slur and blame the liberal overly-PC crowd for his own tongue twisting. But at the end of the day, he will remain the governor of Texas, his state will remain part of the US, and every six weeks he will visit Rod Blagojevich's hair stylist, and we will still be burdened by the tomfoolery of another barely literate Texas governor.
What will secession accomplish? Well, first and most importantly, I will probably laugh harder than ever. Second, we'll get a filibuster proof majority in the Senate as 59/98 is the 3/5 needed. We would get rid of a bunch of Republican Congressmen and a bunch of DINOs. The University of Texas football team would longer be a BCS competitor. The next time Democrats in the state legislature want to abandon the state capitol and run to Oklahoma for refuge, they better have their Texas-issued passports updated (this is contingent on the State Department opening up diplomatic relations with the newly independent country, which I doubt). The International Criminal Court can send a contingent into Texas to arrest George W. Bush for war crimes and not worry about the American military turning them away.
If only this could happen. Unfortunately, Rick Perry's grasp of the broader implications of the secession of his state is only outmatched by his comprehension of the English language writ large. He will grandstand for a while, spit nails about the evil communist in the White House, probably slip up and call him some slur and blame the liberal overly-PC crowd for his own tongue twisting. But at the end of the day, he will remain the governor of Texas, his state will remain part of the US, and every six weeks he will visit Rod Blagojevich's hair stylist, and we will still be burdened by the tomfoolery of another barely literate Texas governor.
Thursday, April 9
Argghhh...
MSNBC's banner headline as I post this and the title to the article linked is "Pirates put Obama in 21st Century Bind." Maybe I'm missing something, but aren't they putting him in an 18th Century Bind?
A 21st Century bind would be shooting at space aliens with precision guided nukes or your teleportation machine breaking down mid-way through sending the staff to the next G-8 conference.
Pirates were a pest for George Washington's and John Adams' presidencies, and we finally fought a war with some when Thomas Jefferson stop plowing slaves long enough to dispatch some ships to Tripoli.
Leave it to MSNBC to label Obama's pirate fighting as new-age militarism.
-Ginger
A 21st Century bind would be shooting at space aliens with precision guided nukes or your teleportation machine breaking down mid-way through sending the staff to the next G-8 conference.
Pirates were a pest for George Washington's and John Adams' presidencies, and we finally fought a war with some when Thomas Jefferson stop plowing slaves long enough to dispatch some ships to Tripoli.
Leave it to MSNBC to label Obama's pirate fighting as new-age militarism.
-Ginger
Wednesday, April 8
The Pot of Gold
At the other end of the Rainbow in the Rainbow Coalition is a pot of gold. Normally this pot of gold would be the bounty of some drunken Irish midget, but here it is actually a cesspool of filthy blood money bundled together by the political sludge that composes Chicago politics. This gold allows magical things to happen: the Daley family runs the city, Bullwinkle's sidekick gets to wear a wig and run the state, and now everyone's favorite ballot purger gets to run the country. Hidden away in this pap smear of politics, is the Congressional delegation. At the top are Senators Dick Durbin and clean-as-a-fiber-addict's-never-tended-outhouse Roland Burris.
Beneath the two Senators rest a House pack that ranges from the boring, to the crazy, to the (formerly) weasel-ey, to the pure, unfettered, nepotistically corrupt and douchey. Yes, Jesse Jackson, Jr. whose reputation is as clean as his father's, and his intelligence, virtue, and leadership is rivaled only by his independent merit-based rise to political prominence. He now faces an ethics probe into his role in Blago-gate. Nothing warms the cockles of my egalitarian heart like one of the political dynasties of a local and national political industry get tangled up in a scandal like a spiritual advisor in a pair of the office clerk's panties. We had a special election to replace Rahmbo this week; the Secretary of State better not stash the voting machines too far into the back of the supply closet, as Ginger smells another special election right around the corner. I don't think all the gold in Rome (or Chicago) will avoid this spectacular collapse.
-Ginger
Beneath the two Senators rest a House pack that ranges from the boring, to the crazy, to the (formerly) weasel-ey, to the pure, unfettered, nepotistically corrupt and douchey. Yes, Jesse Jackson, Jr. whose reputation is as clean as his father's, and his intelligence, virtue, and leadership is rivaled only by his independent merit-based rise to political prominence. He now faces an ethics probe into his role in Blago-gate. Nothing warms the cockles of my egalitarian heart like one of the political dynasties of a local and national political industry get tangled up in a scandal like a spiritual advisor in a pair of the office clerk's panties. We had a special election to replace Rahmbo this week; the Secretary of State better not stash the voting machines too far into the back of the supply closet, as Ginger smells another special election right around the corner. I don't think all the gold in Rome (or Chicago) will avoid this spectacular collapse.
-Ginger
Thursday, April 2
Sebelius tucks
Oh, Kathleen, we know you have a huge pair of balls, but where were they yesterday?
The pending HHS secretary should be giving sane progressives pause following her waffling avoidance of the insurance mandate issue during her confirmation hearing. I know many of you have conveniently forgotten that Obama never advocated mandating coverage for all Americans during the campaign, only children. On a related note, you've also probably convinced yourself that a reformed healthcare system in which some don't have to participate will work out alright. Well, let me remind you that such a system won't work out in the end. Someone told us that...who was it...oh yeah, that bitch Hillary.
If Obama doesn't do healthcare right now, he'll have squandered our shot at affordable coverage for everyone FOREVER. Mr. President, soon-to-be Madame Secretary, buck up. Tell all of your emo 25-year-old supporters out there that just because they're not sick now doesn't mean they won't end up in the emergency room later. ~Slim
The pending HHS secretary should be giving sane progressives pause following her waffling avoidance of the insurance mandate issue during her confirmation hearing. I know many of you have conveniently forgotten that Obama never advocated mandating coverage for all Americans during the campaign, only children. On a related note, you've also probably convinced yourself that a reformed healthcare system in which some don't have to participate will work out alright. Well, let me remind you that such a system won't work out in the end. Someone told us that...who was it...oh yeah, that bitch Hillary.
If Obama doesn't do healthcare right now, he'll have squandered our shot at affordable coverage for everyone FOREVER. Mr. President, soon-to-be Madame Secretary, buck up. Tell all of your emo 25-year-old supporters out there that just because they're not sick now doesn't mean they won't end up in the emergency room later. ~Slim
Monday, March 30
The Nobel Prize: Useless in an Era of CHANGE
Early in the 2008 primary season, Ginger and I were at a debate-watching party when an idiot with zero political knowledge referred to our precious Hildog as "naive." We took it poorly, at best. So I felt for you, Krugman lovers and legitimate progressive thinkers, when I read this today. If you find it audacious that the very people who fucked up on AIG and many other bailout elements would call a qualified scholar "naive," you should probably remember that these people are so obsessed with their great leader, they probably regard his daily shit as some sort of economic oracle.
To be fair, Obama's apostles are new to any left-leaning criticism of the Exhalted One, and they're all totally emo, so it makes sense that they are crying in the corner before lashing out at the man they envision as Judas. I sort of feel badly for them, because this is the start of what I think is a tide of very public criticism from very prominent liberals.
Evan Thomas himself admitted that his establishment tendencies make him want to dismiss Krugman's gloomy foreboding, but that he has a nagging feeling the little man might be onto something. I suspect John McCain may have had a nagging feeling that Cindy looked a little groggy, but then ignored it, and suddenly meds were missing from a certain chairty organization. Whoops. Was it not ignorance of our inner nag that got us into this econapocalypse in the first place?
But back to the shit oracles. I mean, a reliance on sorcery and mystique must have been the reason administration officials convinced Obama to get all stern father on GM and Chrysler without preparing Gibbsy to defend against a patently obvious double standard, right? If they would have done their homework - say, the kind of rigorous research that lands one a Nobel Prize - one would think they would have drawn the conclusion that the public would be incredulous over a perceived blunt-force assault on the "American worker" versus a mere slap on the wrist for those dastardly Wall Street monsters. It seems that Krugman is more and more correct with each passing day.
~Slim
To be fair, Obama's apostles are new to any left-leaning criticism of the Exhalted One, and they're all totally emo, so it makes sense that they are crying in the corner before lashing out at the man they envision as Judas. I sort of feel badly for them, because this is the start of what I think is a tide of very public criticism from very prominent liberals.
Evan Thomas himself admitted that his establishment tendencies make him want to dismiss Krugman's gloomy foreboding, but that he has a nagging feeling the little man might be onto something. I suspect John McCain may have had a nagging feeling that Cindy looked a little groggy, but then ignored it, and suddenly meds were missing from a certain chairty organization. Whoops. Was it not ignorance of our inner nag that got us into this econapocalypse in the first place?
But back to the shit oracles. I mean, a reliance on sorcery and mystique must have been the reason administration officials convinced Obama to get all stern father on GM and Chrysler without preparing Gibbsy to defend against a patently obvious double standard, right? If they would have done their homework - say, the kind of rigorous research that lands one a Nobel Prize - one would think they would have drawn the conclusion that the public would be incredulous over a perceived blunt-force assault on the "American worker" versus a mere slap on the wrist for those dastardly Wall Street monsters. It seems that Krugman is more and more correct with each passing day.
~Slim
Tuesday, March 24
In case the economy isn't making you suicidal...
...the latest media news will. First up, Howard Dean will become a regular CNBC contributor. Remember that one time in 2004 when Dean was the white 2004 Obama, beloved by the liberal masses and praised for his opposition to the Iraq war? Oh yeah, then he started screaming, and didn't have any "inspirational" background to propel him forward or a "bitch" candidate like Hil with which to contrast himself.
Then Dean turned his amazing web networking prowess into a new base of Democratic support, revitalized the DNC, and catapulted Obama to the White House with his sound 50-state strategy. You would think Obama would be greatful, but he let Rahm be a fucking spiteful dick and ushered in precious boytoy Tim Kaine. Dean has been gracious through his unceremonial kicking to the curb by Obama and Emanuel, but I doubt his populist perspective will make CNBC any less annoying, and he clearly deserves better than NBC's ugliest and least intelligent child.
Those of you who were looking forward to the Chris Matthews Pennsylvania Senate candidacy disaster will be doubly disappointed that not only will he refrain in 2010, he will be with MSNBC for another painful four years. Four more years of awkward misogyny, belligerent love-hate for Obama, and aggressive, nonsensical and blatantly leading questions. I mean, even Chuck Todd is marginally more tolerable, and Todd is the worst reporter/analyst EVER. Matthews' delusion about his own impartiality and analytical skills is gut-wrenching, but I guess that trainwreck brings enough viewers to the time slot, so brace yourselves. ~ Slim
Then Dean turned his amazing web networking prowess into a new base of Democratic support, revitalized the DNC, and catapulted Obama to the White House with his sound 50-state strategy. You would think Obama would be greatful, but he let Rahm be a fucking spiteful dick and ushered in precious boytoy Tim Kaine. Dean has been gracious through his unceremonial kicking to the curb by Obama and Emanuel, but I doubt his populist perspective will make CNBC any less annoying, and he clearly deserves better than NBC's ugliest and least intelligent child.
Those of you who were looking forward to the Chris Matthews Pennsylvania Senate candidacy disaster will be doubly disappointed that not only will he refrain in 2010, he will be with MSNBC for another painful four years. Four more years of awkward misogyny, belligerent love-hate for Obama, and aggressive, nonsensical and blatantly leading questions. I mean, even Chuck Todd is marginally more tolerable, and Todd is the worst reporter/analyst EVER. Matthews' delusion about his own impartiality and analytical skills is gut-wrenching, but I guess that trainwreck brings enough viewers to the time slot, so brace yourselves. ~ Slim
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